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There's a Thing about Abandonment

On this day, 1/8/2014, I watched a movie of an anime "Detective Conan". 

Putting the whole case thing aside, I liked this scene the most, it just touched me:

                                                                                                        "I'll absolutely find you no matter how many times you get lost"

- There's something about him, Shinshi Kudo I mean. He has his special type of romance, and a special formula of romantic words.

And there' something about their whole love story, the entire Ran/Shinshi platonic love. He got apart form her, he ran away.. He left her. Yes, abandonment. There's something about it. I think despite how hard and bitter it is, it's simply the best part of a love story ever. When one of the two gets apart for no reason, and without the other knowing where he is or what's doing, especially in their case, they used to call each other occasionally only.

There's something about setting the fire of love to a little rain, so that it doesn't get so heated and the two get bored, and I said rain because it will fall and water the little leaflets of one's heart. Little rain drops will keep falling on one's heart, and what's better than waiting for rain from time to another? What's better than having someone to wait for?

There's this euphoria in letting the plant aroused by little drops of rain, so that it appreciates the whole water jar when it comes, and learns how to live on the very sufficient little, not the extra much..  There's that ecstasy when you receive a call or a letter from that one, or finally you receive any sign of them..

Yes, it's very hard I know, maybe I'm talking like that on the account that I've never tried being in love, so maybe it sounds fabulous for me, the feeling. Maybe it's like hell for the lover. But the thing is, if your love is great,  and your memories are greater, you'll enjoy missing them. You'll have that room in your mind for creating imaginary world with them. You'll have that part of your mind that doesn't think about anything or anyone but them, much more than when you used to be together enjoying the thick and thin.

There's something about abandonment. And it's trust. Believing. Believing that your partner will come back no matter what. Believing that your love was strong enough that he obviously had no choice in getting apart, he undoubtedly didn't do that in purpose, he thinks about me, he's fine, I'll keep praying for him..

There's something about abandonment, which is prayers. You keep praying for them to be fine and in the guards of God. You keep praying they're in safe hands. You keep praying for them for the odds to be in their favor. You keep praying that they quoting Amazing by Janelle said:

I hope your tears are few and fast

I hope your dreams come true at last

I hope you find love that goes on and on and on and on and on

I hope you wish on every star

I hope you never fall too far

I hope this world can see how wonderful you are

"I hope you find love that goes on and on and on…" This prayer has touched me the most. Yes, you pray for them to find everlasting love even though it's not you. And that's the point here.

There something about abandonment, and that's sacrifice. It's cancelling your ego, it's cancelling narcissism. You learn in abandonment to accept the fact that they may love someone else, you face the fact that you're just now a fleeting memory but you accept it. Your love was strong enough to not depend on you both, it depends on one's happiness even if it's not with you. It depends on loving the other more than you love yourself, so it doesn't matter whether their happiness is with you or not. It's altruism.

There's something about abandonment, and that's missing. The feelings of missing someone –I only guess- are far better than the feeling of being in love with them. The feeling of missing someone and telling your pet about them. The feeling of missing someone and talking to the sea about them. The feeling of missing someone and writing about them. The feeling of missing someone and wishing upon a star. The feeling of missing someone and having the chance of recalling your memories together. The feeling of missing someone and praying for them. The feeling of missing someone and singing for them. The feeling of missing someone and finally recoiling…

There's a thing about abandonment, and that's testing whether it's true love or not, whether you were only together to feed one's defect and imperfections and that hole. The hole of teenage love that needs to be filled and blocked with any kind of love*

*In my case it's blocked with Allah's, my parents, and fictional characters' love.

There's something about abandonment, and all those little things in abandonment, those calls, those letters, those feelings, those illusionary worlds, those memories, this kind of love, this infinity.

Somewhere maybe Someday

I'm just a little person. 
One person in a sea.
Of many little people.
Who are not aware of me.
I do my little job.
And live my little life.
Eat my little meals.
Miss my little kid and wife.
And somewhere maybe someday.
Maybe somewhere far away.
I'll find a second little person.
Who will look at me and say.
I know you.
You're the one I've waited for.
Let's have some fun.
Life is precious.
Every minute.
And more precious with you in it.
So let's have some fun.
We'll take a road trip.
Way out West.
You're the one.
I like the best.
I'm glad I found you.
Like hanging round you.
You're the one.
I like the best.
Somewhere maybe someday.
Maybe somewhere far away.
Somewhere maybe someday.
Maybe somewhere far away.
Somewhere maybe someday.
Maybe somewhere far away.
I'll meet a second little person.
And we'll go out and play.
 
http://youtu.be/FVgqHZbp-pw

This made my day. Relax. God Bless (:

Blindly Attracted To A Sound

While I was in my most terrible state, and as I was moving on, I suddenly heard a fleeting sound coming from somewhere. That sound in fact was Holly Quruan.
I found myself attached to that sound gradually, till I sat like that dead body, listening carefully to that rhythm that played in my head. That one rhythm that immediately turned my mood upside down. 

I used to owe that thing to music, I always used to find it when nobody else was. But I've recently discovered that there's something that's greater and more precious than the best music ever played.

Qora'an is the best self-relief (: .. I always related that to its words, feelings, and advices it gives. Every verse *ayah* that tells you the right thing to do. That puts off your volcano, and heighten your rejoice level. That's when I used to read it voiceless.

Then I came to an assumption, the idea in Qoraan isn't only the greatness in its verses, but it's also about Listening to it. As if Qoraan has its own frequency, when you listen to it, you get attached gradually, that frequency sends signals to your brain, giving a spiritual feeling that reflects on your soul. Oh Allah! How Great!

~ I DOUBT DEAR READER THAT WHENEVER YOU LISTEN TO EVEN A 'Bismillah Al Rahman Al Raheem" YOU TRAVEL ABROAD TO DISTANT PLACES IN YOUR IMAGINATION, AND GO TO GREAT LENGTHS WITH YOUR MIND!

That's one of the most comfortable voices to the ears: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfILo3YP58k

It's a shame to be knowledgeable about every singer, every album, every new band, and having a favorite singer as an inspiration but never have a preferable Qoraan reciter.
Go on. Clear the dust off your Qoraan, read even a page, and you'll get what I want (;
If you're not able to read now, you can listen, it's for muslims and non-muslims
listen to a one-of-kind, best sound ever (: 

God Bless (:

To The Birthday Girl

   I was working on somehow a good poem, but I failed. I failed because I was supposed to write in the frame of the rhyme scheme, so I wasn't able either to say the suitable words or give the true meanings, nevertheless, I hate failure! So I returned to writing. I love my writing by the way :D especially when it comes to describing my feelings. (: ^self confidence*
I'm a misanthropist. I don't like people. I don't love anyone deeply. I don't trust easily. I'm not an open-book. I'm the friend of everyone yet love no one. It's not something easy for me telling people about myself. I don't accept any kind of people. I'm inexplicably attracted to clocks, spiders and other strange things. But I'm never attracted to people. I became friends with almost everyone, but without them getting friends with me or knowing who I truly am.
That's what describes me. So when it comes to relationships, and me, getting emotionally attached to someone, we've to stop for a while and watch out! Who's that one? Who's that one who is worth MY love?

It's 5th December, Wednesday.

Seems like any original day, right? But it's not like that.
The day we've physics classes, right? It's not like that. =DD
26 days remaining until the end of the year, right? It's not like that.
An original birthday date, right? It's not like that.
Walt Disney birthday, right? Ah.. Bs it's not like that.
A family member's birthday date, right? It's not like that.
A lover's birthday? Lover? Kidding me? -.- It's not like that.
  "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, AND IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OTHER,AND WILL NEVER BE!"

On that sweet day, one of the most 'sympathique' creatures was born. x3

-       Yomna Abdel Hakeem Ahmed Abdullah Seddik.
Yomna, Yamoona, Yoyo, Youzy, Yuky, Yoka, Yekha, Yook ..
And above all YOU <3 .. YOU dear non-biological sister (:
 

That girl is now turning 16, you’re getting old my dear ): :p.
I’ve known that girl and first saw her face when I was in KG1. I never thought I’d get so close to her like that. Then I realized we really make a good duet together.
I realized she understood me, she was the one I laugh with the most, she was the one who defends me in every situation, she’s the one who’s got my back.
I realized myriad things about you, dear.



When you lay your head on my shoulder, and I do the same.
When I say I love Bounty chocolate, and find you the next day prolonging it to me.
When my hands are cold, and you take it to make me feel warm.

When we walk together *hand in hand*
When we sing together.
When we’ve ^Suzy and Yamoona Conversation-Style.
When we’ve long English conversations.
When we fight who pays the 5O cents.
When you’re my way-partner.
When you make a smile out of fuss.
When we look to each other a constant look, and understand what we both mean (;.
When you give me your great special hug.
When your turn my frown into smile in a few simple words.
When you lift my head when I lose faith in myself.
When you accompany me to The Masjid.
When you say “ raddedy el athan “.
When your lips never stop mentioning Allah, and I imitate you.
When we make fun of things together.
When we gossip.
When we’ve philosophical discussions.
When we fight then get back together, closer than before.
When we read books ‘Pinocchio’.
When I explain and you understand.
When you’re Yamoona and I’m Suzy.
When I’m Soka and you’re Yoyo.
When we suddenly say “janjanjan, g3g3g3g3, …etc “ without getting surprised.
When you defend me in the critical situations.
When we pray together in Ramadan.
When I enjoy my Eid with you.
When we daydream.
When you buy Indomi, and we fight.
When your mother is a very precious person to my heart.
When your father is like my dad.
When my parents are the same for you.
When I’m your Consciousness and You’re my Smile.
When we draw together.
When we study together.
When you accept every decision I make.
When you give me my prestige in front of people.


When you make the tedious days interesting. 
When we do crazy things together


That’s when you’re .. You’re my best friend (:
I’m that type of person who can make prayers for someone who just ONCE, only ONCE made me smile. And that one will always have a place in my heart for making my day.
What about someone who ALWAYS cheers me up, NEVER fails in drawing a smile on my face?
Life taught me to be grateful and thankful. Friendship taught me that ‘thanks’ isn’t included in the dictionary, however, it’s my daily-used word and I can’t go a day without it.

Unfortunately, man can never be able to save the chronicles of his daily life, so I can’t save or summon ALL the sweet memories, and awkward situations we’ve had together.

YOMNAAAAAAA! Thank you! Really thanks for every priceless moment you made in my life. Thanks for being that one(: Thanks for caring. Thanks for making my days.
Thank you for the memories made. Thank you for your birth! Thank God for your birth.
Al7amdulillah .. (: Grateful I’m for that day(:
“ you can never get angry on someone who makes you smile “. So always keep in mind that I’ll be there for you, remember when I used to say those words?
I’m always to say those words. And I’m responsible enough for that. Commitment is one of my biggest principles in any relationship, and I promise you that(: <3

Blueberry, terrible humorist <3
HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAY! (:
Happy You! Happy Me! Happy Your family! Happy everyone you know (:
Insha’allah your 16^th will be great, full of achieving your flying dreams, and implementing your desires.

Ashofek engineer kda insha’allah or a business woman or whatever you want :D

P.S :

            - seni seviyorum

                              ♥